“I am freaking out”

Believe me, I really don’t know from where to start-in this post and in my life after graduation.Yes, tomorrow is officially my last day in hostel and yes I am freaking out. I am freaking out! I can say it out loud.I am even thinking out loud,”Twinkle, you are  freaking out”. It feels like as if I am about to  perform on a big stage, in front of thousands of people and in my head it is as dense as London fog. Oh! I forgot to mention I recently had a chance to be a part of a big dance reality show, but I’ll share my experience in the next blog.But for now I really want to share my feelings. This is no joke. When  I hear people say  they don’t know what they want in life, my reaction has always been like “how can you stand not to know what you want in life”. Trust me, right now I have zilch idea about my life.

I highly value my education but there’s more than those books,there’s more than those fencing. There’s real world out there.World, I wish I am ready to face.”Breathe in , breathe out” my brain is constantly saying this to me because it is very well aware of the fact that cortisol and epinephrine have been released in my blood vessels. I cry  day in, day out. Figuring out a way to know what I really want to do .I see lots of Facebook posts of my friends  who are in big companies, friends who know what they want to do and phew! how sorted  theirs lives are !

Now a new phase of life awaits in front of me and I am sure YOU my  friend are feeling the same. No, I don’t have any advice and no I won’t say you should do this or that. But I’ll say what I have been told – HAVE PATIENCE.

Lets have patience and faith in ourselves.

In the dim background of our mind, we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start. -William James


What do ‘I’ like ?

Yesterday I was going to meet my best friend, whom I had not met for a long time. I had to travel for 40 minutes. Usually when I travel I carry a book along, unlike this time. On the top, no earphones to entertain myself. So when I boarded the bus I started to find a way to indulge myself for 40 minutes. I had a window seat so I could watch all trees, the lanes and the traffic. I wont say suddenly but after sometime (and in a very slow pace) Isaac Newton visited my mind. Few days back I had listened to a TED talk and the speaker said ” …just because Issac Newton stopped learning, he started to think and created science..”. This line was resonating…and resonating ..and resonating ( in my head) and boom,  I got diverted to this exquisite word: SCIENCE. I asked myself,’ do I really like science or its just  some infatuation?’ I mean I knew that familiarity increases liking but then I am familiar with cooking and believe me its just no no for me. But then suddenly I wore this wry smile and said “haha because I know the answer” in  Hagrid’s voice ( remember Harry Potter!) : questions. Yes, I have loved questions more than their answers like, why stars shine, why earth rotates, why do we poop ( yes I had asked this to my mom when I was small ). My mother used to be furious because my questions were never ending. I remember asking her ” mommy when a person dies, does he feel anything after death?”  and I was in 5th grade I guess. So yes, I was pretty convinced that I love science.

But story didn’t end here. I got the answers of the other  “QUESTIONS” too! I am just an example of a girl who asks questions, questions about science. So there may be other girl out there who asks loads of questions about economics or a guy with questions regarding buildings and its structure. Also if someone really doesn’t know what he/she likes then go out, read, explore things someday or the other you will definitely come up with questions and you never know those questions may redefine your lives. Oh yes 40 minutes passed very fast by the way ;).

Here is the astronomically correct poem ‘Twinkle Twinkle little star’ which is my favorite poem. Enjoy it. 🙂